Feelings Parents May Have

  • With the initial diagnosis some parents may feel sad, overwhelmed and unsure of the future. Parents may also feel a sense of relief when an official diagnosis is provided to confirm their suspicions and point them in the right direction to obtain effective treatment.
  • Due to the complex nature of the disorder, some children do not fit exclusively into one diagnostic category. Thus professionals may provide provisional diagnoses and information about specific behavioral deficits and excesses their child exhibits. This lack of specificity can lead parents to wonder exactly where thie child falls on the autism spectrum.
  • Three helpful suggestions include:

1) pursuing a second opinion from a professional who has experience diagnosing children with autism

2) reading more about the disorder and effective treatment

3) attend local support groups

  • Parents ask themselves WHY ME? WHAT CAUSED HIS? Many times mothers will review their entire pregnancy to figure out if they did something wrong. Current research strongly suggests a combination of genetic and environmental factors as the cause of autism. Unfortunately, a specific cause is unknown at this time.
  • Parents may feel isolated They may feel that they are the only ones going through this experience. They need emotional support now and throughout the years ahead to celebrate their child's successes and plan for needed services.
  • There is a "grieving" process. Parents may need to morn the loss of their "normal child" and the expectations they had for that child. They may experience anger, denial and depression. Virtually all parents come to accept their child and diagnosis. However, parents may still occasionally feel disappointed and overwhelmed due to the many challenges of raising a child with a disability.
  • Husbands and wives may also experience similar or different emotions, which may lead to misunderstandings or feelings of isolation. Everyone has a right to experience the feelings they experience.  No one should be made to feel guilty or bad because of their feelings.
  • Sometimes anniversaries (one year after the diagnosis, etc.) or milestones (such as kindergarten age, going on a school bus, turning 16) can cause the grieving process to resurface.

The New Jersey Center for Outreach & Services for the Autism Community (COSAC)
1-800-4-AUTISM (N.J. only) or 609-883-8100
www.njcosac.org

Revised: May 19, 2008